400 Travelling Salesmen Jokes

400 Travelling Salesmen Jokes

Henny Youngman

Language: English

Pages: 130

ISBN: 2:00263394

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

This collection is a rare opportunity for his fans everywhere to " get in on the Youngman act." For those unfortunate
few who don't already know Henny Youngman, this book is a priceless discovery they will turn to time and again.


A Sample:

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now your gran dfa ther wants to get married at 114." " H ell, mister, grandpa doesn't want to get married. H e lzas to." H enry was trying to help his son fly a kite in the back yard, but couldn't get it to stay in the air. His wife called from the back door, "Henry, you need more tail." " I wish you'd make up your mind. Last night you told me to go fly a ki te." An ornithologist says that the stork is too often h eld responsible for circumstances which might be be tter attributed to a lark.

his wife wasn't going out of town after all. 114 The newly appointed chairman of the local fund-raising committee decided to call pcrsooaJJy at the home of the town's wcalthlest citizen, a man well known for his tightness with a doUar. Remarking on the impressive economic resources of his host, the committee chairman pointed out bow miserly it would seem if the town's richest man failed to give a substantial donation to the annual charity drive. "Since you've gone to so much trouble checking on

love to my beautiful wife." To Homer's chagrin the young mao stammered, "O.K., O.K., I'll pay you. But keep your voice down, will you? I'm new at this hotel and you're apt to get me fired." 17 Beauregard discoverc!d his wife in the arms of her lover. Mad with rage, be shot her dead. The Southern jury brought in a verdict of justifiable homicide. Just as Beauregard was about to leave the courtroom a free man, the judge stopped him and asked, '' Why did you shoot your wife instead of her lover?"

rape case was being tried in a Hollywood court. The victim, a movie starlet, was on the stand. "Now young lady, please tell the court what happened. First, can you identify the man?" "That's the one," she said, pointing. "And please tell the court when this occurred." "Yes sir. As I remember, it was last June, July, August and September." When the traveling salesman's car broke down, be stopped at a farmhouse, and was invited to sleep with the farmer's daughter. They went to bed, and be made a

exhaustively for your safety that there is not the slightest chance anything can go wrong . .. GO WRONG ... GO WRONG .. . GO WRONG .. .." Bow Wow: A TV p erformer's low-cut dress. A career girl's mind moves her abe:ld, while a chorus girl's mind moves her behind. 57 Chivalry bas changed from the days of Sir Walter Raleigh, but. contrary to rumor, it hasn't died out altogether. A man will still lay his coat at the feet of a pretty girl; the difference is that now it's intended to keep her

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