Beer is the Answer...I Don't Remember the Question: And Over 1,000 Other Bar Jokes, Quotes and Cartoons (Bartender Magazine)

Beer is the Answer...I Don't Remember the Question: And Over 1,000 Other Bar Jokes, Quotes and Cartoons (Bartender Magazine)

Ray Foley

Language: English

Pages: 224

ISBN: 1402209142

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

The best bar jokes you can've never remembered!
From the publisher of Bartender magazine comes this incomparable collection of bar jokes, quotes and cartoons that are sure to make you appear witty and charming at the life of your next cocktail party.

Wow your drinking buddies and impress your dates with such clever and entertaining hilarious quips as:

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"I saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry," so I've started."

"Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin."

Ray Foley has been a bartender for more than 20 years. He is the publisher of Bartender magazine and the author of Bartending for Dummies. He has appeared on Good Morning America, Live with Regis and Kathie Lee and countless other shows. Ray resides in New Jersey with his wife and partner, Jaclyn.

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HIAnf> lVHl sv 3.-.vs 3Hl 3AVH 11.1 .. ----4!t.t.l:t.fti~l:fi+lZ\111:fE1• ----------------------------------------wo guys are sitting in a bar, bragging about all the people they know. The bartender gets fed up and says be knows the governor. The bartender says, "I'm Joe Doaks, and everyone knows Joe Doaks." The two men bet him $100. They all get on separate phone extensions, and the bartender calls the governor, talks to him like they're old friends. The two men pay up and are quiet for

before the trouble starts." Sullivan gave hun the drinks and srud, "Now then, Mlke, what's the trouble and when does it start?" "Rlgbt now," Clancy assured hun. "I ain't got a penny m me pocket!" em-m Ge Will Dtrlt IS Tlli .AJI!SWOt -,,---------------------------··-------------------------' n _exbau~ted ~uslness executive gratefully climbed mto his bed in a Washington hotel at midnight, looking forward to a solid nine-hour sleep. At 2 a.m., however, a loud banging on his door awakened him.

a wicked smile. "That's what the tongs are for." '----------------------------- ~) J ~on't !ll

tasted in his life. "Do you always mix them this way," he asked, "or was this one of those divine accidents?" The barkeep whipped up another one as proof, and the customer declared it was even better than the first. "Such genius deserves a reward," said the customer. He reached into his pocket and produced a live lobster, which he pressed into the bands of the astonished barkeep. "Here, take this. With my compliments!" he said. The barkeep held the live crustacean gingerly at arm's length.

Looking into the street he saw the strangest thing. Two big black limou- . \ smes were driving slowly down the street, followed by a man wallang the biggest, meanest looking dog he'd ever seen. Following behind the man and dog were a group of about 20 men. Puzzled by this he walked over and questioned the dog owner. He asked, "What's going on here?" The dog owner looked at hun, sm.tled, and pointed to the hmousmes. He sa.Jd, "you see that first limousine? That's my dead wife."That's too bad.

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