Billionaire Bairn: Billionaire Boy in Scots

Billionaire Bairn: Billionaire Boy in Scots

Language: English

Pages: 288

ISBN: 184502995X

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Ken Joe Spud? He's the warld's richest boay! He's got his ain Formula Yin racin caur and a rollercoaster in the back gairden. He's sae rich he maks paper aeroplanes oot o fifty poond notes and blaws his neb on them as weel. Joe Spud has awthin a laddie could ever want, but his money cannae buy the yin thing he really needs: a freend. . . Read David Walliams hilarious and touching story about the world's richest and loneliest lad, now in Scots for the first time.

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young Joe?” she said wi a warm smile. “I hae an affa sair stingin nettle soup for sterters.” “I amnae aw that hungert the day, mibbe I’ll go strecht tae a main coorse, Mrs Scone.” “It’s chucken breist.” “Och, that soonds braw.” “Aye, it cams in a dugs’ slavers sauce. Or for vegetarians I hae deep-fried Blu-tack.” Joe gowped. “Mmm, it’s sae haurd tae decide. Ken, I had some dugs’ slavers jist last nicht.” “Fit a shame. I’ll gie ye a plate o the deep-fried Blu-tack then,” said the denner

Billionaire, Maister MacCludge, Bum Hair tae the Bahookie Billions” continued Joe. “And that’s jist the teachers.” Maist o the laddies at Joe’s schuil were Princes, or at least Dukes or Earls. Their faimlies had made their fortunes fae ownin muckle great dauds o laund. That made them ‘auld money’. Joe had quickly cam tae learn that siller wis ainly warth haein if it wis auld. New siller fae sellin cludgie rolls didnae coont. The poash boays at St Cuthbert’s were cawed names like Alasdair Baxter

shouted back. They passed a wummin bent ower boakin aside the sauna as a man (presumably her pairtner) clapped her on the back supportively. Some pairty guests had either dived or fawn intae the pool, and were bobbin aroond in the watter. Joe enjoyed sweemin, and the thocht that nane o thir folk looked like they wid get oot o the pool if they needit a pee gaithered like a daurk clood on his mind. Jist then he spottit his da – wearin ainly a pair o dookers and his curly afro toupee, and dauncin

made them a singil bawbee. Naebody ever warked oot which Gubb wis a he and which Gubb wis a she. No even their maw or da. They were sent tae a boot camp in America for juvenile bampots. The heidmaister, Mr Stoor, retired fae the schuil when he wis a hunner year auld. He noo races motorbikes for a livin. Miss Nippit the history teacher got her joab back and gied Joe litter duty for the lave o his life. The dominie wi the glaikit name Peter Breid did chynge his name efter aw. Tae Susan Jenkins.

schuil and pit it back in the cupboard. Even the poke the poke had cam in wis ower poash, but he foond an auld plastic yin in the kitchen and pit his schuil buiks in that. Joe wis determined tae no staund oot. Fae the back seat o his chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce he had passed the local secondary hunners o times on his wey tae St Cuthbert’s, and had seen the weans skailin oot o the schuil. A breengin river o swingin schuilbags and swearie words and hair gel. The day, he wis gonnae gang in through

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