Friars Club Private Joke File: More Than 2,000 Very Naughty Jokes from the Grand Masters of Comedy

Friars Club Private Joke File: More Than 2,000 Very Naughty Jokes from the Grand Masters of Comedy

Language: English

Pages: 416

ISBN: 1579125506

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Rated XF (for X-tra Funny), this giant collection of off-color jokes, stories, and anecdotes comes straight from the kings and queens of blue humor: The Friars Club.

In the tradition of the bestselling Friars Club Encyclopedia and Bible (315,000 copies sold), this brand-new, giant collection of laugh-out-loud, hide-it-from-the-kids humor features more than 2,000 saucy jokes and stories grouped thematically into such categories as Marriage, Medicine, Old Age, Kids, and (of course) Sex. Much of the material is attributed to well-known and popular comedians, including Richard Belzer, Gilbert Gottfried, Susie Essman, and Penn Jillette. As a bonus, interviews with a wide variety of stand-up comedians known for their naughtiness— including Mario Cantone, Judy Gold, Jeffrey Ross, Lisa Lampanelli, and many more—are sprinkled throughout.

Sitting down with The Friars Club Private Joke File is like having a front-row seat at one of their infamous Roasts. Whether browsing for a good ice-breaker or perusing it cover to cover, this no-holds-barred compilation will keep readers laughing and blushing for a long, long time.

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waist down and get up on the table.” After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. “That doesn’t look like them!” she complains loudly. “Oh, yes it does,” the artist says indignantly, “and I can prove it. Let’s get an impartial observer to decide.” With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk. “Well, what do you think?” the woman asks the man, spreading her legs apart. “Do

[producer] Paul Provenza and told him to take me out of it, that I was a mother and I couldn’t have anyone see me speaking like that. I think it was a hormonal thing, although my children will never see that film. I must say it was definitely an honor to be included with such a bunch of amazing performers. I am who I am. I use a certain vernacular. That is how I communicate. I’m not going to change. I do think that generally women do not get away with more because of their gender. I think that

says. “I’m sorry, but I’ve given my body to God,” she replies. In a few more stops she gets off the bus. At that point, the bus driver turns around to the guy and says, “Hey buddy, I know a way you can get her in the sack.” The bus driver tells the guy that the nun goes to confessional every day at three in the afternoon, and then he whispers something in his ear. The guy breaks into a smile, knowing he’s going to get some. The next day at three, the guy is in the confession booth dressed as a

exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. “I suck! I screw!” she screamed in panic. “Slut!” he said, and dropped her. A FEW DIRTY WORDS ABOUT THE ARISTOCRATS The Aristocrats is revered as one of the oldest dirty jokes in entertainment history. Long considered an “inside joke” told by comics for comics, it has been an enormous source of

Unfortunately, he is also a little gassy. He is sitting in the living room, right next to the dog and directly across from his future mother-in-law, when suddenly a small fart escapes from him. “Rover!” the woman yells. “Whew,” the man thinks, “she’s blaming the dog!” Emboldened, he leans to his side and farts a little more. “Rover!” the woman yells again. “Ha!” the man thinks. “I’ve got it made now!” He leans a little further and unleashes a gigantic fart. “Rover!” the woman screams. “Get

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