Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me

Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me

Howie Mandel, Josh Young

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 0553386654

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


An engaging no-holds-barred memoir that reveals Howie Mandel’s ongoing struggle with OCD and ADHD—and how it has shaped his life
Howie Mandel is one of the most recognizable names in entertainment. But there are aspects of his personal and professional life he’s never talked about publicly—until now. Twelve years ago, Mandel first told the world about his “germophobia.” He’s recently started discussing his adult ADHD as well. Now, for the first time, he reveals the details of his struggle with these challenging disorders. He speaks candidly about the ways his condition has affected his personal life—as a son, husband, and father of three. Along the way, the versatile performer reveals “the deal” behind his remarkable rise through the show-business ranks, sharing never-before-told anecdotes about his career.
As heartfelt as it is hilarious, Here’s the Deal: Don’t Touch Me is the story of one man’s effort to draw comic inspiration out of his darkest, most vulnerable places.

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that, people don’t realize that I am being serious. In comedy, nobody can hear you scream. Finally, somebody opened the door and let me out of the studio. As the door closed behind me, a real sense of devastation came over me. If there is a palpable feeling to devastation, that was it. I had just told the world that I’m a nutcase. My mind was racing. What are the consequences of talking about this? First and foremost, I said something that was personally embarrassing and would be embarrassing

discomfort was palpable. I can’t tell you how many times they just looked back and forth at one another in silence. I know they wanted to flee, but this was their house. I took a pen and drew the room on my stomach, noting the measurements. As soon as I finished, I had the family sit on the couch, while I lay at their feet with the floor plan and my nipples facing up at them. Pointing to the rooms I had drawn on my chest, I said, demonstrating, “See this room that starts at my belly button? That

Not knowing what would happen next, I told her to call him. When she reached him and explained that she was nervous and had given him the wrong room, Lou let loose. The girl held the phone away from her ear, and I could hear him screaming at her. I could hear horrible obscenities coming from the other end of the phone. I don’t know this for a fact, but I think he was so distraught that he went up to his room, slammed the door, ripped off the dress, and threw it in the trash. In his rage, he

an audience to my own life. For whatever reason, my attention was then drawn to the left-hand corner of the room, where there was a giant carrot. I pointed to the carrot—and I heard myself say, as though I believed it was a great idea, “Is there any way you could tie the carrot on top of the saber-toothed tiger?” The guy looked at me strangely, nodded, and proceeded with the help of two other men to tie the carrot on top of the tiger. To this day, I have no idea why I wanted this. I then called

hand away from my body and led me into the bathroom like a two-year-old. She turned on scalding water and put my hands under the faucet. She went to the bar in the living room and grabbed the vodka and tequila and whatever other alcohol was available. She then came back into the bathroom and doused my hands with the liquor. I was screaming, and so was she. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” I wailed. “Please, please, Howie, calm down,” she said. The mourners in the other room were listening to us

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