Internet Short Stories and Jokes

Internet Short Stories and Jokes

Harvey Fushman

Language: English

Pages: 654

ISBN: 1413430651

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

This is the first book about the Internet that has gathered and organized all of the myriads of jokes and fables that have circled the globe over phone lines. Over fifteen years in the making the author has compiled and edited little facts and big ideas that poke fun at everything and everyone. All professions and all peoples are included. Here are a bundle of laughs and tears, interesting facts and irreverent and informative stories. Read it at home or at a party. Bring it to your place of work to relieve the stress or brighten the monotony. Enjoy it as you would a meal; little bites or all at once. Memorize the facts to impress your friends and be prepared with a timely joke or story. It is all here in one wonderfully entertaining book.

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Green 4. Indicate your favorite number and favori te day. But be fo re going on.jlli>t make one wi5.h .... lllterpretatio11s 1. This will define your priorities in life ow means career H o~c 2. means fami ly T iger means pride hcep mea ns love Monkey means money. Your description of Dog implies your own personality. Your de:.cription of Cat implie:. your partner's personality. Your dc~cription of Rat implies your enemy's personality. Your dc!>cription of Coffee is how you interpret sex.

"No,'' said the Lord sadly. ''The government a lready has." Amen 1\vo Organs One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. " I've got some good new and some bad news," The Lord said . Adam looked at The Lord and said, "well, g ive me the good ne ws first." milmg. The Lord explained, "I've got two new organ-; for you, one i~ ca ll ed a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve proble ms. and have inte ll igent 74 INTI f( ... FT SIIVH T s lOR II' AI< f) J CIKL~

Ch urch put out a big s ign that said. "open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own me~agc : " We arc open on Sundays. too." "Have trouble sleeping? We have l>Crmons-comc hear one!" "People arc like tea bags- you have to put them in hot water before you know how trong they arc." "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee ... "Come in and pray today. IJcat the Christmas rush!" "Whe n down in the mouth. remember Jonah. He ca me out all rig ht." "Sign broken. M essage inside th

ticke~ down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this night and it has to be FIRST CLASS." . The agent replied, "I'm sorry m . I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to helP these folks first , and l_'m sure we 'II be able to work something out." The passenger was ummprcssed. l-Ie asked loudly, so that the pa~scngers behind him could hear. "do you have any idea who I am'l" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May 1 have your allention

Your mother D. Your dog ~ / $500 The most disturbing thing about the TV show "Friends" is A. Monica needs a meal B. Rachel needs a haircut C. Joey needs a brain D. Ross and Monica arc siblings, but Monica is so obviously gentile and Ross is so obviously Jewish. S I,000 You should call your mother A. Every single day D. Weekly C. Monthly D. Annually $2,000 Your son will least likely be A. A doctor B. Alawyer C. A fireman D. A rabbi 150 ..-I~ PRNJIT SIIORT Sro~1~.\ ""'ll JOICu $ .000 House

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