Letters from a Nut

Letters from a Nut

Ted L. Nancy

Language: English

Pages: 192

ISBN: 0380973545

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Who is Ted L. Nancy?
He's a concerned hotel guest searching for a lost tooth...

He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit...

He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"...

He's a demanding dramatist seeking an audience for his play about his 26-year-old dog, Cinnamon...

He's the proud owner of Charles, a 36-year-old cat who owes his longevity to a pet food company...

He's a loyal fan of the King of Tonga...

He is, in reality, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore.  

Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were!

Dear Mr. Nancy:"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council

"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines

"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." -- Vice President Al Gore

"An unending stream of some of the most hilarious exchanges I've ever read. Everyone I lent this book to just read it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so simple, yet totally inventive. I'm sure some sort of mail fraud charges could be brought to stop this man but, personally, I hope they never catch him." --Jerry Seinfeld

Playboy's Party Jokes 5

Carry a Big Stick: A funny, fearless life of friendship, laughter and MS

Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy

Doctor at Sea (Doctor Series, Book 2)

I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and we hope you will always look for Frito-Lay products whenever you are looking for great tasting snack foods. Thanks again! Sincerely, Linda Mitchell Consumer Affairs Enclosure: 8830230 FL-2300-19 1 Nutrition Book 1 55 Cents Off Coupon 560 No. Moorpark Rd. Apt #236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 Dec 16, 1996 MR. TIM CONWAY P.O. Box 17047 Encino, CA 91416 Dear Tim Conway, I look and act know me say to Conway." Rest Even with ugly exactly like you. Unintentionally. People that me, "Knowing you

560 North Moorpark Road Suite 236 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 Re: Protection of Name Symbols & Likenesses of Whiskey Pete's/Whisky Eats" Dear Nancy: On August 9, 1995,1 received your letter dated August 3, 1995, to the "General Manager of Whiskey Pete's Hotel & Casino." I have been asked to respond. While we appreciate your request to share protected names, logos, likeness and symbols, we must refuse and reject your request in the most absolute terms. Primadonna has spent tremendous sums to promote

protect our rights to this important name. Sincerelyf Greg>K&^7 eneraVQounsel cc: William Paulos Arnie Fleischman BOURBON "JOES "Statelme's Newest Place To Qo" 560 North Moorpark Road #236 Thousand Oaks, California 91360 (Mailing address) MR. GREG JENSEN WHISKEY PETE'S CASINO P.O. BOX 95997 Las Vegas, Nevada 89193-5997 Dear Mr. Jensen, Sept. 6, 1995 Ok, ok I will not call myself "Whiskey Pats." I can understand you came up with this name first. I have always admired that name, "Whiskey

Ted Nancy writing style. Anyway, everyone's reaction was the same as the night of the telethon. You cannot not laugh at these letters. So I called my friend, whose house it was, and asked him if he could get any more of the letters. He said, "Sure, there's lots more." Then I called my literary agent, Dan Strone of the William Morris Agency, an extremely charming and well dressed man and, more importantly, one of the smartest guys in show business. I said, "Dan, I have a bunch of letters here

that I think could be some kind of book if you could get enough of them." So Dan got an outfit together and a lunch was arranged. I had now taken on the role of a Clark Kent figure. I may not have been Superman himself, but it became known that I was able to contact him. There wasn't much else I had to do after that. When you give something good to Dan Strone, it's like handing the ball off to Gale Sayers. You just know it's going places. As far as Ted L. Nancy himself goes, I'm really still

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