Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley") (An Andrew Mayhem Thriller Book 4)

Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley") (An Andrew Mayhem Thriller Book 4)

Jeff Strand

Language: English

Pages: 180

ISBN: B006RAWWF8

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Andrew Mayhem is back! In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job.

One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer."

Yeah, he takes the job. Even after she insists on being handcuffed to him while they investigate the house where she might have stored the bodies of her victims.

But Andrew discovers that this day has much more danger in store than being handcuffed to a woman who may or may not be a homicidal maniac. Because Mr. Burke, the sadistic villain of his last adventure, has been watching Andrew and plotting a truly ghastly revenge...and the attack begins now!

Packed with the trademark demented humor, wild action, and grisly horror, this is the novel that Andrew Mayhem fans have been threatening to stab the author if he doesn't write.

Foreword by the lovely and talented JA Konrath.

"No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." -- Cemetery Dance

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driving them toward. "You're going to have a son just like you, and he's going to leave the freezer door open all night just like you, and he's going to ruin a hundred and thirty dollars' worth of meat just like you, and the stress is going to kill you," said my mom, after I'd missed an important step in the process of properly obtaining a bowl of ice cream in the middle of the night. My thought on the matter was, no, I wouldn't, because unlike my own mom and dad, I'd been sufficiently warned.

handcuffed to me to make sure that doesn't happen." "I'm going to let Andrew take on that duty," Roger said. "I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate me being handcuffed to another woman." "You do remember that my wife is pregnant with triplets, right?" "I remember no such thing." "What if we refuse?" I asked Shirley. She blinked in surprise. "What if you refuse? I'm not blackmailing you guys. I'm trying to pay you for a service. Accept it or decline it. Jeez, do you have any social

thing about being rich: you eat well." I said something shockingly obscene in my mind. "I promised that you'd be fed after your fasting period was over, and it's over. Watch your head." He dropped the plastic bag. There wasn't much room to dodge and our reflexes were weak, so the chicken landed on my foot and the plastic burst open, sending a couple of feathers flying into the air. It hurt like hell, but I wasn't about to let Mr. Burke see me reacting to the pain of having a chicken fall on

escape." "If you say so," I said, not sure what I hoped to accomplish by saying that. "During your long stay here, you may also come up with the idea of using one of my men as a bargaining chip. I would like to discourage that." He walked over to the counter and picked up a small remote control. He held it up to show us, then pushed the red button. The muscle man twitched as if he'd received an electric shock to the stomach. Then he doubled over and threw up all over the carpet. He stood back

sub-machine gun down on the floor. "I'm going to show our good faith and come out with no weapons so we can talk this out," he called out. "There's no reason for anybody to get hurt." "Roger, don't!" I said. "I have to. You don't think they'll really kill her?" "They'll kill you, too!" "No, they won't." He put his hands in the air, palms out to show they were empty, and then stepped out into the hallway. I wiped some blood off my face and continued prodding at Mr. Burke's neck. C'mon, there

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