Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes

Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes

Mr. K

Language: English

Pages: 136

ISBN: 0806528397

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Here's what they're saying about Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes: "I couldn't put it down" -Benny the Shoplifter, Ferd, New Jersey "Vile . . . utterly disgusting . . . shockingly repulsive . . . and that was just the copyright page" -Miss Henrietta Starch, Librarian, Prairie Oyster, Texas "This book made me laugh so hard I dropped my dentures into my soup" -Hiram Crimp, author of Never Trust a Fart: Surviving Old Age with Dignity Mr. K is a pseudonym. He has worked as a pimp in a leper colony in Guatemala, a crash test dummy in Detroit, and a deep sea fisherman in Iowa. From 1989 through 1992 he was in the Federal Witness Protection Program until he was booted out for marrying a horse. He is the author of The Looter's Guide to American Cities and Dial M for Martyr: Suicide Bombing for Beginners. He lives in Oatmeal, Nebraska, with his wife, the former Miss Tequila Mockingbird.

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machine. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? He came home shit-faced. Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women? Because women who can 't afford a washing machine wil l never be able to support you. What 's the worst part abou t getting a lung transplant? The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm. Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 67 What do gays and ambulances have in common? They both get loaded from t he rea r and go " Whoop-whoop ." What 's

this is his spleen, then what's that?" 5 . "Hand me that . .. uh . .. that uh . . . thingie." 6. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex." 7. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? " 8. "Damn, there go the lights again." 9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys and this guy's got two ." 10. "What do you mean you want a divorce?" A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her mother. He has a nasty case of gas and

pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see the condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a $5 bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deafmute, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf-mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. " Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose,

lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar. " "Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?" " Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there." "If it's a boy, what do you think of the name Eminem?" What's the difference between women and men? Women donate money to the homeless. Men donate money to the topless. Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes 95 What do you call a woman with a toothpick through her cli toris? Olive. What do you call an anorexic with a

painted. Did you hear that Disney is making a new underwater film set in New Orleans. They're calling it Finding Negro. What did Princess Di and Vasser Arafat have in common? They both died in France and they were both fucking Arabs 40 Mr. K This man goes to the doctor complaining about elbow pain. The doctor tells him, "Okay, you need to give me a urine sample that I can test." The man compl ies, and the doctor takes the cup to a very strange machine and pours it in. After a few seconds,

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