My Life in Jokes

My Life in Jokes

Bob Hope

Language: English

Pages: 224

ISBN: 2:00263415

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Now in paperback--one of America's greatest entertainers shares his favorite jokes and memories.

Bob Hope died at the age of 100 in July '03. His legendary career spanned the entire 20th century, from impersonating Charlie Chaplin in front of the firehouse in Cleveland in 1909 to celebrating an unprecedented 60 years with NBC in 1996. He entertained millions worldwide with his performances in vaudeville and on Broadway, on his top-rated weekly radio show, in beloved movies such as his Road pictures with Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour, and, most notably, in the countless television appearances that made him a superstar and a welcome guest in every living room in the country.

With Bob Hope: My Life in Jokes, readers can enjoy the very best of his humor and, in the process, learn about the amazing life and career of a true national treasure.

On the early years:
"I wouldn't have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

On growing old:
"Age is only a number. However, in my case, it's a rather large number."

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Welcome to Just a Minute! A Celebration of Britain's Best-Loved Radio Comedy

Best Of Gross Jokes, Volume 1

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The Dog Catcher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moscow. I had brought along a small crew with the idea of filming part of the trip to include in a television special. I also hired a Russian cameraman, who filmed my monologue from Spasso House. We tried to get as many English-speaking people as we could, so that the jokes would play. The American ambassador, Llewellyn Thompson, was a big help in getting me an audience. It's very exciting to be here in Moscow with you Democrats ... you must be Democrats or you wouldn't be here. I hope you'll be

the real King family! The Qyeen has a great sense of humor, which is one reason she came to Washington. If you want laughs, this is the place to get 'em! What dignitaries are here tonight! Peter Lawford is parking the cars ... and the peanut vendor's Jimmy Carter. I've never seen so much royalty. This looks like a chess game . .. live. There was so much blue blood, my fountain pen kept giving mating calls. We just don't understand royalty in our country. Anytime we see a crown, we expect a

Reagan's defeat by George Bush in the Iowa primary is very biblical. It's only the second time in history someone received a message from a bush. Ted Kennedy is appearing on TV every chance he gets. The other night he was pin boy on Bowlingfor Dollars. Carter decided to start campaigning when he called his election headquarters and Joan Kennedy answered the phone. However, Billy helped-he didn't say anything. Jerry Brown returned to Sacramento to find out that while he was campaigning [Lieutenant

without an accent. Howard Cosell stuck his tongue out at a referee and it was red, white, and blue. Our people kept cheering for anything that was red, white, and blue. I saw a group of them on the street corner screaming for a mailbox to go faster. Wasn't it something? I had my hand over my heart so often the alligator on my breast pocket started chewing my nails. People are once again singing along with the national anthem, instead of betting whether the vocalist will hit the high note or not.

true. My six brothers and I grew up in the poor section of Cleveland, 14 and we all turned out very well. I had a brother who was a meat packer .. . Another who was a metal manufacturer ... Then there was a TV producer ... a real estate man . . . a writer .. . a salesman .. . and I'm a comedian . . . Well, six out of seven ain't bad. 15 MY EARLY YEARS: I9IJ-I92J ~I M be very broad-minded. She didn't approve of me hanging around the pool hall, but she was very tolerant about it. Every

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