Now That's Funny!: Jokes and Stories from the Man Who Keeps America Laughing

Now That's Funny!: Jokes and Stories from the Man Who Keeps America Laughing

Language: English

Pages: 224

ISBN: 160652500X

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Now That's Funny features the funniest collection of jokes and stories by noted humor editor from Reader's Digest Magazine, Andy Simmons.

Every year, Reader’s Digest readers send in tens of thousands of jokes and funny anecdotes, in their quest for a $100 check and, as an extra benefit, eternal glory: to have their joke published in the world’s best-read magazine. One man is stopping them from their quest. Andy Simmons.

 

It takes a sense of humor. And Andy certainly has that. Not only is he the arbiter of all things funny in Reader’s Digest; he is their Mark Twain, Bill Cosby, and even their David Sedaris. In other words, Andy is the guy Reader’s Digest turns to whenever they need a funny story all of America can appreciate. He’s perfect for the job. Andy takes great delight in the funny and oddball side of everyday life. In Now That’s Funny!, Andy presents his most popular, funniest writings on all things America, some exclusive and all-new, some taken from the award-winning pages of Reader’s Digest.

 

You’ll discover the Andy that goes out and tries things. His first-person tales of taking dance lessons, participating in a Revolutionary War reenactment, and even taking stand-up comedy lessons are some of the funniest articles to ever appear in Reader’s Digest.

 

Then you discover the Andy that observes America. His roundups of dumb criminals, crazy lawsuits, ridiculous excuses and out-of-touch scientific research will have you roaring with laughter -- and feeling much better about yourself.

 

Then there’s Andy, the family man. You’ll laugh out loud as he goes in search of his inner macho --or for the next stop on his vacation, if only he can find the directions. And Andy’s observations on marriage and fatherhood are as accurate as they are funny.

 

Finally, there’s Andy the jokester. Here are tales from the job of trying to think, act, and be funny every workday, no matter what the dog did this morning on the rug. Tales of his sit-downs with comic legends from Robin Williams to Woody Allen will have you in stitches. Andy also shares his favorite jokes -- many of them too edgy for printing in Reader’s Digest!

 

Add it up, and it’s a book filled with hundreds of feel-good, laugh-out-loud moments about life in these United States -- exactly the type of reading we need today!

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friends shot a short movie called “How to Scam Del Taco” and posted it on YouTube. It proved popular, especially among cops, who watched it and then arrested the would-be executive. Remember! Don’t Focus Attention On Yourself Consumers in northern Alabama became suspicious when they received recorded messages urging them to go to a website where they could update their bank account records. How did victims know it was just a “phishing” expedition? Their caller IDs read, “This is a scam.”

run into someone who’s just come back from Italy or an Olive Garden and feels compelled to greet me with arms akimbo. Should that happen to you, here are some points to consider. But first, remember this: The act you are about to engage in is about as intimate as one American male gets with another American male (unless said male is a dog), and is therefore executed with the least amount of intimacy possible. Good luck. To Hug or Not? You have milliseconds to answer these questions before

Television producer and host of Let’s Make a Deal Arthur Hiller: Directed comedies like The In-Laws and Silver Streak Rocky Kalish: Wrote for All in the Family, Maude, and Good Times Hal Kanter: Bob Hope’s chief gag writer, he wrote Road to Bali for Hope and Bing Crosby Gary Owens: The voice of Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In John Rappaport: Writer and producer for M*A*S*H Matty Simmons: Founder of National Lampoon; producer of Animal House and Vacation It’s a dream-come-true for a humor junkie

actor and didn’t know it. We were working on a skit using pickles. He’s holding an imaginary jar and struggling to get the lid off. Finally, he opens it. But there was no laugh in it, and we said no, it didn’t work. But as we moved on to something else, he pantomimed twisting the imaginary lid back on the imaginary jar and placed it down on an imaginary table. He wasn’t even aware he was doing it. But with Mel, I never knew what he would say. Once I asked the two-thousand-year-old man what’s the

then there was Christmas, which, to me, was dazzling—just the look of it. The town square was decorated, and there was a Santa Claus house. I lived in a town where there were relatively few Jews. And no one loves Christmas more than a Jewish child in a Gentile town. My Tree-trimming Technique I grew up with a girl who lived in this really big house with a huge central hall and a tree that went up about, I don’t know, three stories. And my friend’s mother and I had wildly divergent

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