Oregon's best jokes

Oregon's best jokes

Language: English

Pages: 96

ISBN: 0935735038

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Book by Maxx, Elliot

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Igelmund, Stu Stuart, Steve Pendergast, Dwight Slade, Ed Newcomer, Robert Jenkins, Ron Reid, Bill and Donna Richards, Laura Crocker, Michelle Beaudry, Lonnie Bruhn, Art Krug, Laura, Megan & Emily Larson, Doug White, Tim Gallagher, Betty Holman, Kermet Apio, Ric Schrader, lchabod Caine, Maria Cuenca, Heather Cullen, Erica Nelson, and Sadie. And an extra special thanks to GENE OPENSHAW A good friend and a very funny man, who wrote a lot of the best material. Contents PORTLAND THEBURBS LAKE

sidewalk?" "Oh, thank God," says the drunk, "I thought I was going lame." Page 14 Oregon's Best Jokes What's gray and white and flops around Old Town? A wino and a pigeon fighting over a cigaret butt. * One night, when an old derelict showed up drunk at a treatment center, the exasperated counselor said, "Ed, this is the fifteenth time we've dried you out. After all of that effort, you just keep drinking. How do you explain that?" "I dunno," shrugged the old wino, "tenacity?" * What do you

the man profusely and then added, "If there's ever anything I can do for you, mister, let me know." "Well, there is one thing," replied the tourist. "What's that?" asked the farmer. "Maybe you could tell me," said the Californian, scratching his head, "just how fast was the calf going when he hit that cow's ass?" Page75 Eastern Oregon Entering BURNS Resume Speed What do you call a guy from Burns with 1500 girlfriends? A shepherd. * What's his favorite drink? Harvey Woolbanger. * What do

of it. NESTUCCA The folds of skin on fat people that collect foreign particles while lying in the sun. Page91 Oregon Names NETARTS The little reflective bumps on the center line of most highways. NIMROD A person who wears adult diapers under a pair of tight jeans. OCHOCO The peculiar odor that emanates from a pulp mill. OSWEGO The liquid that collects in your bellybutton while sunbathing. OWYHEE A condition caused when one's genitals are exposed to extremely cold water. Page92 Oregon's

of a strange, crime-infested area and give you two hours to find the nearest Dennys. Page 13 Portland How can you tell your car needs a tune-up? When you're downtown and you actually get pulled over by one of those cops on bikes. * What's more embarrassing than getting arrested by a cop on a bike? Having to ride to the station on the handlebars. * A cop stops a wino staggering along Burnside, "I think you're a little drunk today, pal. Didja know you got one foot in the gutter and one on the

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