Jerry Seinfeld

Language: English

Pages: 192

ISBN: 0553569155

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours.

In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This must-have book for all fans—and who isn't a fan?—remains available in both paperback and hardcover.

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cartoons, George Reeves will always be my favorite. Because the real thing about being Superman, the thing that makes it so interesting is it's a thing you're saddled with. On his planet he was normal. But here, he's Superman. And it was that way for George Reeves. Being Superman was a thing he just ended up with. Did he want to be Superman? Maybe, maybe not. But he was Superman. He looked like a guy who got stuck being Superman. The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets. He

only a turtle, at least it was an adult turtle. I was still only a kid. I looked up to my turtle. I really looked up to monkeys. Monkeys have contributed a lot to society in their way. They were the first astronauts in the Sixties. Which I'm sure made perfect sense in the monkey brain. "I see, so instead of the little bellhop uniform, you want me to get into a rocket and orbit the earth at supersonic speed. Yeah, I think that is the next logical step for me. Because, I been working with the

it is that you didn't have to sit in those child safety seats, so we could stand up in the back seat of the car. I remember being small enough to stand straight up back there. My head didn't even hit the ceiling. And we had that bench seat, you know, and you could lean on it like it was a bar. "So how fast you think we'll be going, Dad? Could I get a Cherry Coke here?" My parents had two constant arguments while they were driving, over how fast my father was going or how much gas was left in the

collar, and go, "What do you think about this suit? I think I'll get it. Put some shoes by the bottom of the pants, I want to make sure. Now what if I'm walking? Move the shoes, move the shoes, move the shoes." I love watching women put on their perfume. They're very careful. They have their little stratego areas. Places they think we're going. They always hit the inside of the wrist. Women are convinced that this is the most action-packed area that could ever happen. Why, ladies? What is

it's over. But a cordless phone—"You can't talk to me like that! All right now, let me just find that little thing to turn this off. . . . Just hang on, I'm hanging up on you." To me, nothing matches the phone machine as a modern technological accomplishment. First of all, look at how long it took before they made ones that actually worked. Ever take your clock radio or your stereo in to be fixed or returned? Never. They always work perfect. For some reason phone machines are like old Italian

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