The Million Dollar Policeman

The Million Dollar Policeman

John Swartzwelder

Language: English

Pages: 185

ISBN: 0982273665

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

One of a series of comedy/science fiction novels featuring slow-witted detective Frank Burly, by John Swartzwelder, the writer of 59 episodes of The Simpsons.

(Unfortunately, no plot summary available anywhere I can find. I'll write one after I've read it.)

Doctor On the Ball (Doctor Series, Book 16)

Treasury of Laughter

The Mental Floss History of the World: An Irreverent Romp through Civilization's Best Bits

The Comedy Quote Dictionary

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes

The Dirty Joke Book



















while you’re blasting away in all directions. You have to justify every single thing you did, from the time you started firing to the time you said: “Where am I?” It adds up to an incredible amount of paperwork. And that’s if you shot the right guy. If you shot the wrong guy, you can just about double the paperwork on the example I’ve just given you. It didn’t make any sense to me. Nothing made any sense around here. It was maddening. I told my co-workers: “What we need around here, is somebody

said. “What made you change your mind?” he asked, handing me his suitcase to carry. I pointed at the big eraser coming along the path towards us rubbing out everything in sight. We took off running. The eraser made a sharp squeaking sound and took off after us. It could move pretty fast when it wanted to, but we gradually began to out-distance it because it kept wasting valuable time erasing our footprints. That was a mistake in my opinion. Go after the guys making the footprints first, then

“Good,” I said. “Finally.” I got up and brushed myself off. “Well! Now that we have been on this grand adventure together, I’m sure we’ll be friends forevermore. Right? Right. Well, see you around, Forever-Friend.” I started to leave. “You’re forgetting our unfinished business.” I turned back with a smile. “What’s that, Adventure-Friend?” He pulled out his gun and started pulling the trigger. “Hey!” I said, alarmed. “So!” said another voice. Fred and I both looked. It was Wonder Witch.

“You’re standing on Hiccup Horse.” “Oh, sorry.” I stepped back. “He was a great entertainer.” “This real life of yours is a death trap,” Snotty complained. “We have to be real careful all the time or we’ll get hurt. We’re not having any fun at alllllllll.” I nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, well, join the club. We all have to be careful here too. And none of us has ever had any fun either.” “We want to go back to Cartoon Land.” “You can’t,” I said. “Wonder Witch’s Magic TV Set is gone. You

away plenty. It was great while it lasted, but pretty soon those things I told you about that couldn’t go wrong until later suddenly started going wrong now. The first indication I got that anything was wrong was when a shop owner I was “protecting” woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to get over there and protect him from the kids who were robbing and vandalizing his store. I asked him if he knew what time it was, and he said he did. It was time for me to get my butt over there.

Download sample


Comments are closed.