The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics

The Pirates! in an Adventure with the Romantics

Gideon Defoe

Language: English

Pages: 149


Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Whilst visiting their bank manager on the shores of Lake Geneva, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter no less than the literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley - and his beautiful young fiancée, Mary.

Together they embark upon a journey that leads them away from Switzerland into the bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. It is an adventure that will force the Pirate Captain to confront some important questions, namely: what is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is 'Zombuloid, the corpse-beast' a better name for a monster than 'Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed'? And, most importantly - what happens when a pirate finally falls in love?

Women in diaphanous nighties running down corridors! Brooding men with dark hair! Sinister taxidermy! Ghostly banging noises! The Pirates! In An Adventure with the Romantics contains all these things, as well as a bit where the Captain dresses up as a sexy fireman.

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and ‘ahh’ noises, because it seemed appropriate, and they didn’t know what a library was. ‘Well that makes no sense at all,’ said the Captain, buttoning his shirt back up. ‘I don’t see how the key to every heart’s desire can be a book. Neptune’s pants, I hope this isn’t going to be like the time Calico Jack’s ultimate treasure turned out to be some nonsense about a child’s smile. I’m sorry, I should have warned you that he was prone to that sort of thing. Though it’s too late for a refund, if

Nine The Cannibal Hammock ‘Kraken’s ears!’ roared the Pirate Captain, flouting library etiquette. He rubbed the rapidly swelling bump on his head and looked about for his hat as Mary finished digging him out from the pile of books. ‘Isn’t this thrilling!’ said Mary, with a grin. ‘Almost killed by your own prose! Byron will go mad with jealousy. And look!’ She led the Captain behind the toppled bookcase and pointed to an incriminating ladder. ‘I don’t think it was an accident! I think

feelings nonsense. In my version the heroine and the monster get it together. Actually they get it together in chapter two, so the rest is pretty racy stuff, as you can imagine.’ The pirate with a scarf flicked through the manuscript. He read a page at random. Phoebe stepped out of the shower, sensuously towelling off her glistening elbows. Then the wall exploded and the half-man, half-seaweed monster walked in excitingly. ‘Hello, doll-face,’ said the half-man, half-seaweed monster noisily.

shoulder. ‘If it is any consolation, I intend to immortalise her in verse.’ He stared into the middle distance and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Oh! Fair Jennifer; with her gentle manner; those sparkling eyes; her bell-like laughter; that ready smile; her full sensuous lips; the firm swell of her bosom; her shapely tapering thighs; that shelf-like . . .’ Everybody listened respectfully to Byron’s poem. Once he was done a few of the crew had to excuse themselves to go and take showers. Then

mathematician suspiciously. ‘Perhaps you’ve got something to hide, hmmm?’ ‘I suggest we do as she says,’ said Shelley. ‘On the count of three, we all empty our pockets onto the table. Agreed?’ ‘Because of the ridiculous nowadays fashions, I don’t have pockets,’ pointed out Mary. ‘Will a purse do?’ ‘I’m sure that’ll be fine,’ said Shelley. ‘Ready?’ One by one they all nodded, even Babbage, though he looked a bit reluctant. ‘Right then, here goes. One. Two. Three!’ Everybody thrust their

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